It’s Not Me, It’s You! How Narcissists Get What They Want and How to Stop Them
Ebook
Bullies, bad bosses, human traffickers, and mean girls all manipulate their victims without lifting a finger. This sinister form of mind control is known in the psychoanalytical community as projective identification and blame shifting. Many millions of Americans suffer from this kind of abuse, but they don't have to anymore--escape and healing is possible. It's Not Me, It's You! How Narcissists Get What They Want and How To Stop Them will guide readers on their path to exiting toxic relationships and provide tangible, actionable solutions.
It's Not Me, It's You! is for victims of psychological abuse and provides tips and tools to both fight the pain and to heal. Throughout the text are stories based on representations of the thousands of patients author Dr. Karyne Messina has helped in her practice as a licensed psychologist. Some examples involve actual people, like musicians and businessmen, and the details of those cases are based on public records that are cited throughout.
Healing from the pain inflicted by narcissists is possible. It's Not Me will help you realize that you're not to blame and that you can take steps towards a positive and healthy life lived on your own terms.
“In this important book, Karyne Messina vividly explores narcissism and the toxic template for relationships of abuse, exploitation, and violence that narcissists employ. She exposes their pervasive influence throughout society, ranging from school and workplace bullying, domestic violence, cyberbullying, racial and homophobic abuse, corporate crime, sex trafficking, and climate denial, to the full-scale assault on democracy by narcissistic leaders worldwide. It’s Not Me, It’s You! is vital reading in our era of disordered minds.”
—Ian Hughes, author of Disordered Minds: How Dangerous Personalities Are Destroying Democracy
“Karyne Messina’s It’s Not Me, It’s You! uses clear, accessible language to talk about an imposing source of human suffering—projective identification and blame shifting characteristic of narcissistic personalities—that manifests itself in various forms, including bullying, racism, mean-girl behavior, homophobia, workplace relationships, domestic violence, and pathological political leadership. This is an articulate, compassionate, thoughtfully organized book that considerably exceeds the expectations of a self-help genre work, largely because of Messina’s extensive clinical experience as a psychologist and psychoanalyst.”
—Richard Wood, author of A Study of Malignant Narcissism: Personal and Professional Insights
“There are several texts on how toxic people manipulate others, but this book is so valuable since it also gives the reader instructions on how to deal with such people: Refuse to allow the projector or blame-shifter to accuse you of what he or she has thought, felt, or done. To do this, you must let abusers know that the negative thoughts and accusations sent your way do not belong to you.”
—Robert M. Gordon, licensed psychologist
“This long-awaited book is an important publication because it clearly explains an important defense mechanism called projective identification that has previously been known to only a select group of mental health practitioners. . . . In this book, Dr. Messina describes how projective identification may be affecting anyone’s life and what one can do about it.”
—Harry Gill, medical director, Embark Cabin John and J Snyder Therapeutic Services
- Title: It’s Not Me, It’s You! How Narcissists Get What They Want and How to Stop Them
- Author: Karyne E. Messina
- Publisher: Cascade Books
- Print Publication Date: 2023
- Logos Release Date: 2023
- Language: English
- Resources: 1
- Format: Digital › Ebook
- ISBNs: 9781666799422, 9781666799415, 1666799416, 9781666738551, 1666738557, 1666799424
- Resource ID: LLS:9781666799422
- Resource Type: Monograph
- Metadata Last Updated: 2023-08-19T02:05:01Z
Dr. Karyne E. Messina, EdD, is a licensed psychologist and psychoanalyst at the Washington Baltimore Center for Psychoanalysis and is on the medical staff of Suburban Hospital in Bethesda, Maryland. She maintains a full-time practice in Chevy Chase, Maryland, and is the author of three books on the psychology of manipulation.