Dating while in seminary

The area of dating is tricky enough without adding the individual specifics of being a seminary student into the mix. Upon arrival my first day of classes my freshman year, I discovered a whole new realm of possibilities as far as dating goes. It was an open field of exciting and fresh opportunity to find a husband! Or so pretty much every female told me on campus. I have to admit, it wasn’t just the freshmen that were thinking this way. Sure, I wanted to date, or at least hang out with potential future mates. I was so scared of my classes and failing them all in the whirlwind called freshmen year that I found myself pushing that idea aside, just knowing that there would be time to discover my soul mate over the course of four years. Did I ever date? The answer is yes. I dated my freshman year probably the most, was serious about one guy my sophomore year, and didn’t even bother junior and senior year. Why you ask? Aside from the classes kicking my butt, I felt like everyone around me was already married. The girls, who went to Seminary just to find a husband, did just that. My friends all got married in droves, but I? I just wanted to learn. Dating can be difficult when it pulls you away from your studies. I guess one has to ask themselves, why am I here at Seminary? Here’s where I might get a little preachy. Those students who got married their sophomore year just because the school had a rule against getting married before that, they are mostly divorced now, some remarried, hardly any involved in ministry. Sure, there is an occasional couple that makes it through those tumultuous years and beyond. Let’s just say that I am grateful for my years of being single, even though they were hard, and am grateful for the discernment my parents gave me to differentiate the guys who said they were told “by God that I was the one” from my sweet and loving husband whom I met through friends much later in life. My advice? Date all you want, but please, for the love of everything holy and righteous, practice discernment. I have also learned that even that guy/girl who appears to be “the one” still carries flaws and there is no rush in finding out if said flaws fit with your shortcomings.
For you guys out there, maybe this is the first time you have ever had so many “good Christian girls” in close quarters before. Take your time, don’t use one-liners (they are cheesy), and pray a lot! I literally, no joke had a friend who (several years after leaving seminary) was chased by his wife (whom he met at seminary) across campus, shot in the back, and she was caught by the police trying to drag him into her car. Not even kidding. Seminary is a good place to date, but it has its share of crazies as well. Practice discernment. Now that I’ve scared you to death, have fun dating!
By Robyn Towler Robyn is currently working towards finishing up her Master of Arts in Professional Counseling from Liberty University in Lynchburg, VA. She lives with her husband and two furry babies: Lleywn, a one year old Welsh Corgi and Calvin, a three year old tabby cat, in Sunny Colorado. She is passionate about working with children and families and plans on adopting cross culturally someday.

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Written by
Ryan Burns

Ryan Burns is a past Marketing Manager at Faithlife and now works at Redemption Hill Church in Richmond, VA.

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