Loving Disagreement: Fighting for Community through the Fruit of the Spirit
Ebook
ECPA 2024 Book Award—Faith and Culture and Book of the Year 2023—Englewood Review of Books
What does it look like to love someone you disagree with? Fighting, hatred, dissension—these things seem common in the wider Christian community today. Politics, theology, and even personal preference create seemingly insurmountable rifts. It’s hard not to see ourselves as “at war” with each other.
We’re not doomed to be stuck here, though. There is a twofold path out of this destructive war, out of seeing our brothers and sisters as enemies—and into a spacious place of loving each other even as we disagree.
In Loving Disagreement, Kathy Khang and Matt Mikalatos bring unique insight into how the fruit of the Spirit informs our ability to engage in profound difference and conflict with love. As followers of Jesus are planted in the Holy Spirit, the Spirit grows and bears good things in our lives—and relationships and communities are changed.
- Each chapter features author conversations about the communal and cultural implications of the fruit of the Spirit.
- Book includes a glossary of social and cultural terms.
“I encourage everyone to pick up several copies of this book, hand them to your friends (and frenemies), and let the conversations begin.” – José HUMPHREYS III, author of Seeing Jesus in East Harlem and coauthor of Ecosystems of Jubilee
I did not enjoy reading this book. Mostly, it pushed my emotional and theological buttons to such a degree that I was forced to think about things I don’t want to face. Which is why I needed this book. You may not like what’s within—but you need what is within. More than anything, Mikalatos and Khang disrupt just about every one of our false notions of tranquility by inviting us into the tender difficulties of the extravagant kindness of God.
The beauty and brilliance of Loving Disagreement is not just the wisdom and thoughtfulness of its content but also the way in which Kathy Khang and Matt Mikalatos model how to have kind, God-honoring discourse that deepens their understanding and respect for one another. In a church and world in which divisiveness and defensiveness are the norm, Loving Disagreement provides welcome reassurance that it is possible this side of heaven to experience unity without sacrificing or abandoning our unique opinions, heritages, and convictions. I’m so grateful to Kathy and Matt for having created this gracious, honest, and unique resource, because this is a book we need now more than ever.
I’ve spent the last few years wondering what it actually looks like for “us” (in the grand sense of the word) to live together. A lot of that wondering comes from a place of sadness and disillusionment, namely because of my experiences of online interactions. I find myself sincerely hopeful after reading Loving Disagreement. Matt and Kathy write from a place of sincere interest and lived experience. They actually like people. I love the way the book is creatively structured, and I love the clarity with which they present pieces of lived wisdom as well as questions and concerns they’re still working with. In short, I finished this book feeling not only less alone but also reenergized to help build and make room for loving community.
Some people love disagreement and seek it with vengeance. Others hate it and do everything they can to avoid it. Matt and Kathy, in this book, offer a third way. They challenge the status quo as living examples of people who disagree in a loving way, a posture that finds its roots in the teachings of Jesus. Their back-and-forth conversation helps us see how much our culture, gender, upbringing, and life experiences influence our perceptions. This book is a life study that applies the sacred teachings of Jesus to our humanity through a practical spirituality that can lead us to a genuine unity.
Reading Loving Disagreement felt like sitting around a dinner table, over a warm meal, with good friends. Kathy and Matt show us what it looks like to honor and learn from each other. Personal stories are beautifully woven into each chapter, and I was profoundly moved as I read the humility in the back-and-forth responses between the authors. Thank you for the reminder that cultivating the fruit of the Spirit in our own lives and communities is a worthy cause.
In Loving Disagreement, we join Kathy and Matt for a vulnerable, brave, and timely conversation that meets our complex cultural moment. They will challenge us to bypass the brittle tools of toxic people-engagement into a subtle, surprising invitation through the fruit of the Spirit: a more faithful metric for engaging conflict. Through personal stories filled with wit and grace, Kathy and Matt share hard truths in ways that feel winsome and prophetic. Their conversations explore relational themes ranging from the importance of language; to toxic Christian culture; to race, gender, and ableism. Yet in the end we are left with hope in God’s multifaceted love that can weave people together . . . even make them friends. I encourage everyone to pick up several copies of this book, hand them to your friends (and frenemies), and let the conversations begin.
Why does meaningful connection to other people feel like a vanishingly rare experience? Maybe it’s the very fact that we’re more connected than ever that has revealed we have deep, significant differences that can’t be chalked up to agreeing to disagree. How do we build relational bridges across such real gulfs? Khang and Mikalatos use the fruit of the Spirit to dive beyond clichés and into the real work of relationships. Their wisdom is not easily applied, but for those who want to experience the kind of oneness Jesus promises to his followers, the picture they paint is inviting and full of hope.
Khang and Mikalatos stir the imagination for a different way to engage with differences and conflict. Funny, candid, and refreshingly frank, this book is helpful because it unveils the postures we accidentally assume are Christian and replaces them with the fruit of the Spirit. The book’s dynamic format allows us to listen in (and learn tons) as two insightful and witty folks who really have an eye on society converse. It’s like getting to sit at the table in a restaurant that is having the most fun. Khang and Mikalatos reveal their own disagreements in modeling a new way forward that gives me hope for the future of Christian presence in the public sphere. Thank you!
This book is a tool and resource for those trying to understand the art and gifts of bridge building and courageous conversations. The many things that divide us will eventually burn, and what will be left? Khang and Mikalatos do an excellent job of showing us that what truly matters is our collective connection to one another because of our citizenship within the Kingdom of God. Imagine if discourse began with this truth, with the reality of our connected humanity.
- Title: Loving Disagreement: Fighting for Community through the Fruit of the Spirit
- Authors: Matt Mikalatos, Kathy Khang
- Publisher: NavPress
- Print Publication Date: 2023
- Logos Release Date: 2023
- Language: English
- Resources: 1
- Format: Digital › Ebook
- ISBNs: 9781641586177, 9781641586153, 164158615X, 1641586176
- Resource ID: LLS:9781641586177
- Resource Type: Monograph
- Metadata Last Updated: 2024-05-17T15:43:44Z