Is It Abuse? A Biblical Guide to Identifying Domestic Abuse and Helping Victims
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Overview
God does not intend for marriage to be a place of oppression. Providing practical tools and exercises, biblical counselor Darby Strickland prepares potential helpers to pick up on cues that could point to abuse and investigate them wisely. You will learn how to identify a range of abusive behavior and better understand the impact of abuse on victims—particularly wives. Ultimately, you will become equipped to provide wise and Christ-centered counsel while navigating a difficult and complex situation.
- Prepares potential helpers to pick up on cues that could point to abuse
- Provides practical tools and exercises
- Explores how to provide wise and Christ-centered counsel while navigating a difficult and complex situations
Top Highlights
“Oppression is the opposite of God’s design for marriage. Abuse occurs in a marriage when one spouse pursues their own self-interests by seeking to control and dominate the other through a pattern of coercive, controlling, and punishing behaviors. This controlling pattern of behavior is commonly called domestic abuse or domestic violence. I like to use the term oppression, since it provides a framework for this behavior that is addressed in Scripture and captures the domination that it involves. No matter what form oppression takes, its intended outcome is the same: to punish and wound a victim so that an oppressor gets their world the way they want it. An oppressor’s behavior says, ‘Serve me or suffer the consequences!’” (Page 24)
“One fundamental truth we as helpers need to know is that we cannot solve oppression, and we cannot make it stop. But we can be used by a powerful God—a God who loves his people and is always on the side of the oppressed.” (Page 33)
“But we are not called to submit to and accept rampant destructive behavior. In fact, the opposite is true. We are supposed to help our spouses to know, serve, love, and be more like Jesus (see Col. 3:12–16; 1 Thess. 5:14). That means limiting their ability to sin against us. Sometimes a separation is the only way for this to happen. When abuse is present, wives should resist domination and, if it is safe for them to do so, expose their husbands’ sin (see Eph. 5:11–14). This is an act of grace for their husbands.” (Page 41)
“All oppression is a grave sin—some abusive tactics may be more or less severe than others, but they are all destructive and dishonoring to victims and to God. There is no place for oppression in a marriage.” (Pages 24–25)
In a day too often filled with rhetoric and finger-pointing Darby gives us a book filled with gracious, biblical, and practical counsel for how to effectively care for women in our churches who are suffering abuse. She offers biblical hope for the abused as well as practical help for the counselor as she shares insights, cautions, stories and specific ques-tions that can help us love and lead these ‘bruise reeds’ to a place of new hope.
—Brad Bigney, Lead Pastor at Grace Fellowship Church
Is it Abuse is a stunning work. It is brave without being incendiary. It is carefully and thoroughly biblical. It is relentlessly practical. Yet Strick-land also steadfastly avoids the traps of oversimplifying either the problem or the solution. Speaking from a wealth of experience, this book is for oppressed spouses, the spouses who are harming them, and those trying to intervene redemptively in abusive marriages on behalf of Christ. If you ever read a book about abuse in couples, let it be this one.
—Alasdair Groves, Executive Director
Darby has served the church well by answering what seems like it would be a straightforward question: Is It Abuse? But if you’ve experienced abuse or walked alongside someone who is experiencing abuse, you know a fog of confusion surrounds this question. Don’t wait for a crisis near you to read this book. If you read this book before you need it, you will be grateful... and so will the person who is reaching out to you for guidance.
—Brad Hambrick, Pastor of Counseling at The Summit Church and general editor for Becoming a Church That Cares Well for the Abused
- Title: Is It Abuse?: A Biblical Guide to Identifying Domestic Abuse and Helping Victims
- Author: Darby A. Strickland
- Publisher: P&R
- Print Publication Date: 2020
- Logos Release Date: 2020
- Pages: 352
- Era: era:contemporary
- Language: English
- Resources: 1
- Format: Digital › Logos Research Edition
- Subject: Church work with abused women
- ISBNs: 9781629956947, 9781629956954, 9781629956961, 1629956945, 1629956953, 1629956961
- Resource ID: LLS:ISITABUSE
- Resource Type: Monograph
- Metadata Last Updated: 2022-09-30T00:47:09Z
Darby A. Strickland counsels and teaches at CCEF. She is a contributor to Becoming a Church That Cares Well for the Abused and author of two booklets, Domestic Abuse: Recognize, Respond, Rescue and Domestic Abuse: Help for the Sufferer.
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